My One Day Detox Bonanza: Three Cheers for Cleaner Bowels!
So, two days ago I was chowing down on a very delicious, juicy, and highly fattening burger. Like seriously the size of that burger patty was probably no smaller than 2 inches. More meat! More fat! More deep-fried, cheese-topped, sauce-covered goodness!
And while I’m not usually one of those obnoxious people that gripes and whines about calorie-counting and trans fat and OH THE ANTIOXIDANTS, I like to make sure my body stays relatively healthy from time to time. So I’ll eat whatever I want, whenever I want but only if I feel truly hungry. And, every once in a while, I will opt to do something that my body loves but that I hate.
Last year I went on a 3-week murderous exercise program before I went back to Kuwait for the summer. It was living hell, but I lost the 5 kilos that I wanted so I was a happy camper by the end.
And yesterday I went on a severe body-purging one day detox to rid myself of a big chunk of the the poisonous stuff that I had been happily filling my body up with every time I indulged in a juicy, meaty cheeseburger.
This is how this experience went. I’m going to lay it out in categories: ‘Objective,’ ‘On the Menu,’ and ‘Disclaimer.’ In case anyone wants to actually commit themselves to this experience in their own time.
Objective: So, as I said before, my main goal was to remove as many of the toxins that my body was keeping stored for it’s poisoning pleasure in one day. Which means that, unlike a monthly or a weekly detox, this one day commitment is going to have to be pretty hardcore. So I could only allow myself to consume food and drink that was completely cleansing and nothing else. The goal was that, by the end of the night, my internal organs were so detoxified and cleansed that they would actively begin to purge all the drugs, preservatives, additives, and excess bile that I’ve put into my own body all on their own. So, if you’re interested in achieving these great results in a single day you better strap on a pair and seriously commit.
On the Menu: Well, to put it kind of briefly, eat nothing! Due to the very intensive diet that a one-day detox demands, I was basically limited to a whole lot of liquids. But, hey, that doesn’t mean I didn’t enjoy it! To kick off my morning, I enjoyed the super-yummy breakfast of a large cup of warm water flavored with a freshly squeezed lemon. A WHOLE LEMON. Ain’t that a treat? And, given that citrus juice is actually a very powerful bowel-purging agent, it was right on spot too. Now, throughout the day, it’s important to keep one core principle in mind: Water is your friend. Drink it whenever you can, as much as you can. The more water your system consumes the faster your metabolism is going to work to clean those filthy innards of yours. And, for the highlight of the day, I had an apple for lunch to make sure I could survive the rest of the detox without hurting myself and then I chugged down two cups of camomile tea to keep up the anti-oxidant fun! (if you start feeling so hungry you could eat your furniture, I’ve been told a teaspoon of sesame seeds wouldn’t hurt although strictly speaking its not allowed). I then had the pleasure of dining on a nice clear soup of hot water flavored with some fennel which is also very rich in antioxidant agents, so SCORE! Before heading off to bed, it would also be advisable to drink a cup of peppermint tea if you’ve got any lying around–apparently it’s great for aiding in digestion.
Disclaimer: You know the saying: “no pain, no gain!” You can’t expect your entire body to detox in one day and feel like a cake-walk the entire time. You’re going to be feeling the hurt with this one! Hell, if you don’t, odds are you actually did something wrong. Word of advice? Don’t schedule your one-day detox on a day when you’ve got a lot of things to do or need some strong brainpower. Take the day off and chill cause this experience might take it out of you. Also, you should know what to expect: Headaches are for sure going to happen. It’s nothing scary it’s just your brain being a wuss and craving for its usual high dose of the somewhat harmful stimulant that it’s been used to getting everyday: caffeine. And, because your tissues are going to be getting rid of all those nasty noxious substances through your bloodstream, which has to pass through your brain, it might cause some irritation. Obviously you’re going to feel pretty weak and hungry most of the time, but man up, brave soul! Remember: this is actually good and you’re not really dieing. Mid-afternoon, your detoxing skin may erupt in local rashes. And, I haven’t experienced this but some people have reported frequent urination, diarrhea, and gas by the end of the day. I just remember feeling really anti-social by the end of the whole thing, but other than that I fared pretty well.
So there you have it. My one-day detox bonanza! Sure it was painful, it was difficult, and it was slightly insane. But, hey, it was only one day and, in the grand scheme of things, it’s quite the useful thing to do every once in a while. I have to thank my helpful dietician buddy-girl who, even while making it clear that she thought I was a complete loon for doing this, guided me through it and made sure I got the best results possible.
All my love!
