owlolive

Everything that matters to me (and maybe you as well)

Archive for the tag “people”

13 Jul 2012
5 Comments

This One’s For All The Dudes (From Your Friendly Neighborhood Feminist)

So I’m a feminist. And proudly so. I am a complete advocate for women’s rights and I have no issue standing against any part of any society that tries to diminish a woman’s right to be equal to her male counterpart in every single way.

Now, whenever someone finds this out about me they immediately assume that I am a man-hating, bra-burning, glass ceiling shattering psycho. They think that I hate men and everything they stand for. They think that all I want to do, as a woman, is overpower men and make them look stupid.

Of course, this is all a bunch of boo-hockey. Anyone who understands the basic principles of feminism knows this. Because feminism, in its purest form, isn’t about overpowering men or making them obsolete or anything of the sort. Feminism just asks that women be allowed the right to live their lives equal to men if they want to. That’s it. If a man is allowed to act, think, or operate a certain way and a woman isn’t, then I’ve got issues with that philosophy, whatever it may be.

And, while I know I’ve brought up several subjects that have been a little critical of the patriarchal society which men have essentially established, that does not mean that I hate men.

I love men. And women. And just people in general.

In fact, in order to prove how much I love men (especially the ones who read this blog), I’m going to give you a list of things that would make life absolutely miserable had there been no men around.

  1. No more Big Evil Patriarchy for me to pick apart and complain about. – As strongly as feminists feel about the fundamentally and logically flawed nature of many patriarchal ideals–let’s admit it ladies–it can also be a hell of a lot of fun to prove the boys wrong (again and again).
  2. All flat tires will remain unchanged. - Oh wait, we must not anger the Feminist Mafia. 75% of tires will remain unchanged.
  3. European soccer leagues would be booo-ring. – I mean, why does any woman really start to watch soccer? I’ll give you a hint: it ain’t the fun of watching a ball move from one patch of grass to the next.
  4. Who will fill all the jobs that require “masculine strength” and, I don’t know, lots of manly spitting? – Who will put out our fires and fix our cars? For the love of God, who will drive our tanks and drop our bombs?
  5. Cats galore! – Because, you know, no babies. So, naturally, all women will turn to the next best thing: cats. So if men ceased to exist it would be CATS EVERYWHERE ALL THE TIME. And, speaking as someone with a severe cat allergy, I am not on board.
  6. Some men are kind of awesome (or the only serious reason) – Some of the best people I know are men. For real. I mean, it actually took me a while to think of all the above criteria on this list because, in all seriousness, I think one of the worst things anyone can do to someone else is to stereotype them based on a group rather than look at them individually. I’m well aware of the fact that there are specific aspects to both being a man and a woman–testosterone and estrogen is some strong stuff, you guys–but I still think there’s no possible way that a whole half of humanity is just going to fit into a single mold. Some men can be the biggest pains in the neck. Some men are a total hoot to be around. Some men are more responsible than others. Some men are sensitive. Some men are bulging with testosterone. Some men are less so. And, most importantly, some men can’t change a tire.

So, if any of my readers have misconstrued anything I have ever said on this blog as my war-cry against the entire male species, then let me set the record straight. Do I want to remove all the harmful, useless, offensive, power-hungry aspects that make up a great deal of most patriarchal structures? Absolutely.

But does that mean that I want to completely annihilate an entire 50% of the world’s population just because of some stupid stereotypes that have never really applied to my life all that much anyway? OF COURSE NOT.

Regardless of any wonky society and ideology, I will always love men. You know why? Because I will always love people.

All my love! (from your friendly neighborhood feminist)

Posted in Musings, SAY WHAAA...! and tagged , , , , ,
21 Feb 2012
1 Comment

An Open Letter to My One True Friend: I Know You’ll Read This At Some Point

I don’t know where to start this little public letter. I know that you read this blog from time to time, and you were outraged that I didn’t mention it to you sooner. But I do know that you check in on it every once in a while.

I want you to know that every thing that you’re feeling is exactly right. You don’t deserve to be treated like a piece of property and you don’t deserve to be torn down for something which was not only not your fault, but was not even a fault at all. I wish I knew what to say to you when I ask you the same solitary question–”how are you?”–and you consistently reply with the even more solitary “bad.”

I wish I had a quick and easy solution to your heartache and I wish I could trade out the horrible people in your life for better ones. I’ve asked you to treat them like furniture and ignore their tireless lies and awful intentions. But I know that’s not possible and I know that you, just like everyone else, have a limit. I hate to think that, at some point, you might find yourself in a compromising position and be forced to choose. And after all you’ve been through, compromise is not what you deserve.

For all your struggle and all your patience and all your dignity through this nightmare, you deserve the most fairy-tale like, Hollywood movie, unbelievably happy ending that anyone could possibly ever afford you. But people have other plans and other ideas and other priorities, and I hate seeing their selfishness step on your happiness.

I have tried talking to people, and I have racked my brain coming up with a solution. From every angle possible and every possible strategy. For some reason, everything seems to come up a little too short or just doesn’t pan out. Every time I think about it, I find myself more and more surprised at the capacity people have at being cruel and selfish and just hateful. I don’t know how I would survive under that condition of mental torture and uncertainty about my own future. I probably wouldn’t. You are stronger than I am and you know it.

But in all that uncertainty and strain that I know has gotten so overwhelming and painful that, by this point, your stomach has probably hollowed itself out from the endless trauma of it all, I want you to know and remember a couple of things.

People lie. They make promises and big plans and give us hope, then they turn their backs on us like we hardly exist. There are things and people in this world who leave us powerless, make us look like liars and feel like garbage, and who can take away the most important things in our lives without losing a second of sleep over it. Sometimes it honestly feels like there is no way to go but down. Sometimes we cannot simply wait for things to get better, because we know they won’t. And even when we know we have people in this world, no matter the number, that love us and care about us, sometimes nothing they can say will ever make us feel better. That’s because we don’t really believe that there’s anything to truly feel better about.

People may tell you that life gets easier. That as you get older and wiser, you know more and you learn more and you have more power. That with time, your age will reward you with more benefits than it does risks. That all the struggles and the tests and endless nights of worrying and trying so hard are the dues you have to pay before you cash-in on the peace and quiet of your hard-won life.

I don’t necessarily believe that, so I will not tell you something that I don’t necessarily believe.

What I believe is that, in life, the struggles and the tests and the trying are simply what they are and nothing more. Sometimes life is happy and sometimes its not. The two are not related. Sometimes you’re lucky and sometimes not so much. Again, not related.

Nothing is for certain. Sometimes your efforts and your patience pay off, and sometimes you’re left even more worn out and unsettled than you were before. There is never a complete guarantee, just a strong hope of one.

All that I know for certain and what I want to remind you of is that you have me and you always will. And I, for whatever my words are worth to you, will not leave you until we get through this. I don’t know what kind of guarantee that promises, but again, like everything else, it is what it is. Make whatever you will of it, but my hope is that it makes you smile if even just a little.

You honestly have all my love.

Posted in Musings and tagged , , , , , ,

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