Imagine this: you’re having a conversation with someone, and as many conversations do, the talk veers into a slightly argumentative tone. You start making some real, critical assessments and voice some valid opinions of your own. The verbal and perhaps intellectual game of ping-pong ensues until, eventually, you find the other side lacking in responsive ammo. You think, “Great, I’ve made my point and they understand it!”
And then they haul out this deadly little fire-cracker: “You’re just jealous.“
Now, ladies and gentlemen, if your desired effect is to annoy the living daylights out of the person you’re having a supposedly mature conversation with then “You’re just jealous!” might be perfect for you. It’s got it all! Humble-brag potential? Check! Dirty dismissal? Check! Ability to make everyone else look petty? Check! And, most importantly, instant discussion killer? CH-CH-CHECK!
It’s really quite impossible for anyone to be called jealous and not have them flare up in some kind of defensive tone. The sheer annoyingness of “you’re just jealous” is perhaps only outmatched by the long-standing king of the mind-numbingly infuriating retorts: “Relax.“
And while I will not say that the “you’re just jealous” trump card is only used by and against women, I think it is worth noting that, most of the time, it is used as a tool to shut a woman’s yapping ol’ trap. I seriously cannot tell you how many times I’ve heard a smart, critically-minded woman’s opinion debunked and ridiculed by this ‘Girl Be Jealz‘ approach.
If a woman has an argument against marrying early? JEALZ. Doesn’t want lots of (if any) children? JEALZ. Has any opinion that might even remotely conflict with the dominant social culture? That’s right. Girl Be Jealz!
And the annoying part is that, more often than not, it’s women that are hauling this retort against other women.
One of the clearest examples I can recall of this kind of scenario is something I immediately noticed way back when, during the 2008 US presidential election. Now, I hate to bring up Sarah Palin (because I hate to think about Sarah Palin), but I distinctly remember the fact that when she first burst onto the scene she had a strong following of people who either adored her or hated her. And, I just found it incredibly remarkable to see how any woman who dared to say a single word against Sarah Palin at the time was almost immediately branded as a bitter, old, jealous loon. It’s like the fact that Sarah Palin was, by formal standards, a reasonably good-looking mom, stands as a good enough reason to insure that she could never actually be wrong about anything.
If you had something to say against Sarah Palin (and her hormonal conservatism) then, gosh, you’re just jealous you don’t look like a flight attendant from the 80′s!
Aye. Come on, ladies.
This general belief that a scary number of woman seem to have willingly and firmly placed in their heads in which any woman who is less attractive than they are is, by default of the fact, “just jealous” of them needs to stop. We need to realize that when we say these things to one another we stop EVERYONE from actually seeing anything past our looks and our pretty, girly prettiness. It stops them from taking our ideas and our opinions and our minds seriously because–don’t ya know?–deep down women only ever argue, criticize, and discuss ANYTHING because we’re just jealous!
Of course, I’m not saying that no woman is ever actually jealous of another woman. However, as a rule of thumb, most people who truly are jealous don’t actually have any weight behind what they’re saying. Jealous people can’t actually begin, let alone carry, a real discussion with valid opinions and ideas.
So, please ladies, realize that it is actually possible for us to discuss opposing issues, thoughts, and ideas with one another without actually giving a flying ding-bat about our physical appearances.
And also realize that, sometimes, people aren’t “just jealous” of you. Sometimes you’re just a jerk.
All my love!