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Everything that matters to me (and maybe you as well)

Archive for the category “SAY WHAAA…!”

19 May 2013
2 Comments

Screw You, Cancer!

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Cancer has been a persistent factor in my life since before I was even born. My aunt died of it, my grandma died of it, my closest friend in high school died of it, my grandfather almost died of it, and now I know three people who are en route to dieing of cancer.

Cancer is an axe that’s been hanging over my head and my sisters’ head and my mother’s head since literally forever because, as luck would have it, we all share a mutantly rare genetic possibility of dieing of breast cancer. Me and my sisters each have a 1 in 4 chance, and my mother has a 1 in 2 chance. So, basically, the odds have royally screwed us and the higher likelihood is that breast cancer is going to be claiming one of us for sure at some point.

We’ve each suffered multiple cancer scares in our lifetimes and my mother now has a chronic, deep-seated fear of mammograms, hospitals, and anything that vaguely resembles the word ‘cancer’ (answer, dancer, prancer: very scary words for my mother). Somewhere in the deep, dark corners of our mind a part of us is waiting for that axe to drop because we’ve all seen it happen so many times.

And to those of you who have thankfully never been through such a harrowing experience and so don’t know what I mean by ‘seen it happen,’ here’s the basic gist:

Seeing someone die of cancer does not, by any means, look like a movie or a TV show or even a well-intentioned PSA. Nope. Listening to the breaths of someone you love getting so slow and so heavy that inhaling and exhaling literally begins to physically hurt them is something you can never ever, ever prepare yourself for. Never. Because seeing cancer is seeing the surgery scars, the exhaustion of chemo, and the sky-high (and usually crippling) medical expenses. Seeing cancer is seeing the toll it takes on every single relationship you have and seeing someone live in fear of the fact that there’s a good chance they are going to die very soon.

Living in the ‘Cancer Death Bubble’ is like living in the slowest, most horrible purgatory you could ever possibly imagine and wanting nothing more on this planet but to leave that purgatory. Except for one thing: to never ever leave that purgatory. Because once you leave that purgatory, it’s over. The person is over. Your grandparents and aunts and uncles and mother and father and sister and best friend are all over. And all you have to do now is go home without them.

So, I guess no one ever told cancer that my mother would suffer with self-guilt issues for the rest of her life because her sister and mother died suddenly and prematurely and all while she was about to give birth. I guess no one told cancer that I would’ve really liked to have gotten to know my grandmother and to get some great stories and life lessons and endless love out of her. That my friend was only 17 and had an entire lifetime left to live. That my aunt would never get to know her only son who she had to leave mother-less at one years old. Couldn’t someone have told cancer about any of these things? Cancer, you’re fired.

But, of course, the reality is that none of these things matter at all. Which is why me and my sisters and my mother have to deal with the constant and very real possibility that one of us might have breast cancer at this very minute. And to that I say: screw you, cancer!

Screw you for killing my grandparents and other people’s parents and other people’s children and for probably killing me one day. Screw you for not giving a flying dingbat whether someone is nice or mean or good or evil or boring or ugly or pretty or if someone’s daughter or son are going to suffer for their whole entire life because of you. Screw you for just taking people and time and money away. Screw you for making women like Angelina Jolie resort to these measures just to save her children and herself from you. Screw you for being nothing more than a weird organ failure and mutant cell growth instead of something real that I can be mad at. Screw you for surrounding me and my family and so many other people in the world with this feeling of heavy, sad, deep absence that never really goes away.

So, yeah. Screw you, cancer. And screw you most of all because saying ‘screw you’ doesn’t even help.

Posted in Musings, SAY WHAAA...!
19 May 2013
2 Comments

Introducing ‘Screw You!’ Week

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This is going to be about as straight and plain of a post as you’re probably ever going to read on this blog. Because the basic fact of the matter is that things have just sucked lately. Not in any deeply tragic, ‘please send your donations here’ kind of way but there’s just been a serious happy, fun vibe deficiency going around lately.

And while I know that in many ways current unhappiness is actually the key to to eventual happiness, I figure purging some of that toxic crap out of your system doesn’t hurt either.

So, this week I’m going to do just that. I’m going to purge. Purge endlessly and gloriously about ALL THE CRAP.

Big crap, small crap, petty crap, meaningful crap, specific crap, general crap, and all your other basic craps. And I’m going to take all these various craps, sit them down in the naughty corner, and flagrantly shout ‘Screw you!’ at them all week long. And, come weekend time, I will hopefully be fully purged and back to my normally surly but mostly sunny old self. Hoorah!

So, it is with great relief and zero real explanation that I bring you ‘Screw You!’ Week. A week entirely devoted to desperate emotional cleansing and unabashed mental purging which, really, we all need to do from time to time in order to retain our sanity.

Some of you will think its whiny. Some of you will think it’s refreshing. Hopefully most of you will land somewhere within a manageable middle. Whichever way you go, I hope you stick around and maybe even join in the glorious purging fun (email me your angry woes and, in honor of this week, I will be more than happy to post them here if you’re so inclined).

And, y’know, I usually sign all my posts with the proverbial ‘All my love!’ because I like to leave you all with a sense that I’m not some evil, negative troll monger but merely a concerned, slightly snarky individual who watches too much George Carlin.

But I’m not going to do that this week, and that’s mostly because I do not love any of The Crap I’m going to talk about.

So hang on to your metaphorical seats and, for the last time this week: All my love!

Posted in Musings, SAY WHAAA...!
15 Apr 2013
6 Comments

Basma Sultan Is Funny! (And So Are You!)

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Y’know there’s this overarching myth that’s been following women around since the beginning of jokes, comedy, and possibly even since the first chortling grunt laugh of our Neanderthal ancestors. Y’know, the one that proclaims female, estrogen-makin’, bird brains are just not that funny. Why, you ask? Well, because psychological half-science a’course! I mean, look, according to all kinds of ‘studies’ men are just the funnier gender, okay? Women are just biologically incapable of making you laugh anywhere near as strongly as a dude with an ‘edgy’ joke! It’s fact.

COOL STORY, BROS. TELL IT AGAIN.

Look, I take no issue with these kinds of studies per se. They’re just a collection of data that proves that no one laughs at women’s jokes and no one thinks women are funny. What irks me is the overbearingly sexist insinuation these studies make. Which is that women might just be biologically less funny than men.

Of course, they never go so far as saying that explicitly because they would then be burdened by the need for biological evidence WHICH WOULD PROVE THEY ARE DOWNRIGHT BONKERS. Instead they make light references to pop psychology here and there and say that these findings may have “something” to do with the way women are socialized.

To which I say: No, no. It has EVERYTHING to do with the way all women are socialized everywhere.

I mean, consider it from a local angle and look at how most Arab women are conditioned both within Kuwait and elsewhere. Girls are born into a social environment which is, for the most part, explicitly telling them that if they ever hope to be considered as desirable they have to remain modest (translate: quiet) and pliable no matter what, and that they should never ever bruise a man’s ego by seriously outsmarting or outshining him. If you’re the kind of girl that sits still and smiles at everything everyone says you’re ‘tharba’ (put-together). If you’re the kind of girl who always makes sharp, witty, off-hand remarks and cracks jokes in a confidently unapologetic tone then, more often than not, you’re about the last thing from being “tharba.”

Oh, but psychology says? Well, I guess we’re done here. I mean, it certainly couldn’t be all those ingrained social customs of what constitutes a desirable, potential wife and what constitutes a yucky, she-man telling people how to judge a woman as soon as she so much as attempts to make a knock-knock joke. No? Psychology? ‘Kay.

Fine. You know what? They’re right. Most women are not funny. But that’s because most PEOPLE are not funny. Being a funny person with strong comedic timing is a learned artistic skill. In order to be funny you need to teach yourself to be outspoken, unapologetically honest, very self-confident, and absolutely REFUSE to humor people. And, well, these traits are not exactly the traits we foster in our little girls (and even our adult, women-folk).

Instead, we go with mistrust of other women, a crazy obsession with needlessly expensive junk, and the idea that, when it really comes down to it, being pretty is a lot more important than being smart. The reason no one laughs at women’s jokes is because, to most people, they don’t read as jokes. They read as uncomfortable confessions or socially awkward comments. Because our society teaches girls that they need to always work on attaining perfection 24/7.

A man’s ideas are just as important as his body. A man is encouraged to be bold and speak his mind candidly. A woman is told that, while her ideas may matter on some level, they are not nearly as important as the need to perfect her physical body at all times. A woman is told that she needs to re-re-re-RE-think every step and utterance she makes lest she be considered as anything less than “tharba.”

And all these crazy, unnatural, socially constructed outlines are the very reason why I was nothing short of delighted when I first saw Basma Sultan’s “Dine With Basma” segment on Bel Mokhba’s YouTube channel.

For one thing, Basma Sultan is a very funny woman. She has the kind of raw, candid humor that you really only share among the closest of friends. She doesn’t think twice about embracing the awkward things that everyone is already thinking about and turning them into a joke we can all laugh at (the free food, the passing bus, the self-promotion). Her charm is in her off-beat, bubbly personality that is outspoken and entirely genuine. She laughs at what frustrates her just as much as she laughs at what amuses her. You laugh with Basma Sultan because Basma Sultan knows how to tell the best kind of joke. The kind that naturally and easily rolls of the tongue like that’s how she really talks all the time. And I bet she does. I bet Basma Sultan is just as genuine and carefree and hilariously outspoken in reality as she is in that video.

I don’t know of many women in Arab media who are willing to speak so candidly, embrace their personality so openly, and so confidently and easily navigate from one joke to the next on a public platform as well as she does. In that way, Basma Sultan is a freaking relic. She is extremely rare. And its so awesome to see her in action like that.

But, hey, I know plenty of other funny Arab women. Hell, I’m a funny Arab woman. And I know that if all these comedically gifted ladies take Basma’s route and decide that they actually don’t give a flying dingbat what anyone thinks and just start to confidently embrace their personalities (which happen to be funny as hell) the rest of the world will totally know it too. Even more importantly, they’ll grow to love it.

All my love!

Posted in Feminism, Kuwait, Musings, SAY WHAAA...! and tagged , , , ,
09 Feb 2013
19 Comments

And Now, A Crazy, Racist Dose of Bloodline “Purity”

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Story time: So a few days ago I was having a casual lunch with a friend of mine and, as does sometimes happen, she invited one of her own friends to drop by and join us. I didn’t mind because, you know, I like people (and new people too? Variety!). My friend’s friend arrived, we talked, we ate hamburgers, we enjoyed each other’s casual company. Then, as nonchalant as ever, my friends friend nibbles on a few french fries, fiddles with her phone, and casually shares a funny little anecdote that goes something like this:

“Oh, my mom is so excited cause she just got back these lab test results which prove that our family lineage is totally pure-bred.“

She had said this in Arabic, of course, and for ‘pure-bred’ she used the ever dignified, somewhat widespread and unequivocally racist word: A9eelen (أصيلين). YUP. That’s right. Racism: alive and well and scientifically proven! Thank you, humanity, for reaffirming my faith in you.

Now, this was not the first time that I was exposed to this very disturbing side of Kuwaiti social culture. A friend of mine has actually suffered due to this brand of racist ‘blood’ elitism. I’ve heard this term flung around in a number of occasions between my Kuwaiti friends (or more like acquaintances, I don’t closely associate myself with racists and none of my good Kuwaiti friends are anything like that). But, for crying out loud, sometimes the level of human crazy charts a new high on the Richter scale. And in regards to this bug-nutty, koo-koo ‘a9eel’ crap this is the latest Richter scale reading:

Whaaaaaaaaaaaat.

How ancient and delusional do you have to be to actually invest in this kind of idea? Like, to actually wake up every morning, go about your day, deal with different people and, in the midst of all that, be like, “That’s riiiiight! My blooood! My blood’s the purest blood! So glad I have this blood and not that gross NOT PURE BLOOD. It makes me a way better human being!”

I mean, really? You look down upon people who you SOMEHOW believe are less ‘pure’ than you? You believe in a “master lineage”? I’m sorry, but if that’s not the hackiest, vaguest premise for any kind of social racism I don’t know what is. And, gosh, don’t you know that modern racists have learned to cloak their racism behind creative language about “social backgrounds” and “values”? Catch up please.

You know, a part of me feels uncomfortable for trying to make jokes about this kind of behavior because, clearly, this is a messed up and truly dangerous social attitude for anyone to have. Obviously, these kinds of perspectives (which are really not infrequent at all in Kuwait) need to be stopped and not catered to whatsoever. But I honestly just cannot wrap my head around the sheer absurdity of believing in something like racial, bloodline ‘purity.’ This is some seriously old-timey nonsense garbage right here.

I mean, if you believe in and publicly support this insane idea of racial purity you are, essentially, separating yourself from the rest of freaking humanity. Because when it comes to you actually being a sane, happy, truly productive member of society I’m pretty sure that “Don’t Be A Racist Tool” is like the 2nd most important personal quality you need to have after, like, “Don’t Be A Weasel.”

Also, what are you doing with science? Science is way too busy for you. You do not get to use science for your racist reassurance woes. I mean, honestly, someone using cutting edge, scientific technology to try to prove something as anciently offensive and backwards as the ‘purity’ of their racial lineage is the biggest insult to ALL OF HUMAN SCIENCE. That’s like using NASA’s latest solar satellite to prove that the Earth is actually flat. No. You do not get to talk to science anymore. Go to the naughty corner!

So, just to get this ‘a9eel’ business totally straight, here’s the basic gist of what the people who truly believe in this stuff are actually like: They look down upon certain people (in various degrees) because they believe that these poor, lowly individuals have some racially, blood-infused inferiority which makes them not worth as much. BUT! They’re not really all that sure of what this inferiority even is SO THEY HAVE TO USE A TEAM OF SCIENTISTS to figure that out for them. And, of course, they have to use those same scientists to prove that they themselves are, indeed, not of this lowly, stinky, and VERY VAGUELY ‘UN-PURE’ lineage. Basically, they’re the most half-assed and weirdly disturbing kind of racist. The kind that doesn’t even really know what they’re racist against, but chooses to be racist anyway.

Sigh.

All my love!

Posted in Kuwait, Musings, SAY WHAAA...! and tagged , , , , ,
21 Nov 2012
2 Comments

My Automated Response to the “Both Sides” Gaza/Israel Non-Argument

If you have a television or a phone or a radio or, really, any form of contact with the outside world, then you probably already know what’s happening in the world right now. In the last few days, people have been dropping like flies in Gaza with a death toll that is increasing by the hour and that has reached, at the time of this post, 140 souls most of which are innocent civilians and include children.

Now, I chose to mention the Palestinian side first and chose to emphasize its losses as opposed to Israel’s (which number at 5 unfortunately lost souls) for one reason and one reason alone.

I am not a Hamas supporter. I do not condone the death of any innocent civilians no matter where they come from. I am not against the idea of anyone defending themselves against any kind of threat.

But the reason I exclusively mention Palestine’s losses and not Israeli’s (or not as much) is this: I absolutely refuse to entertain an argument which, through its wording, misrepresents the truth of the historical record.

And that is exactly what happens when people who support Israel in this conflict throw the “both sides” argument at me. And lately, I’ve had a lot of Israel supporters come up out of the woodwork all of a sudden on Instagram and Twitter and just the Internet in general whenever I or anyone I know so much as mentions anything to do with Gaza and the complete travesty going on there.

This has literally happened to me alone a number of times in the last few days and every single time its a variation of the exact same schtick: “Hamas hit us too;” “We have a right to defend ourselves;” “Both sides did damage.”

And, frankly, I’ve grown very tired of rolling out the same answer over and over and over and I’d just like to create a single place to re-route all of those pointless arguments if they do happen to come up again in the near future.

So here is your short and sweet ‘Automated Response to the “Both Sides” Gaza/Israel Non-Argument:’

Saying something along the lines of “Both sides do it” is a very misleading equivalence. When you do that you immediately skew the argument in order to favor Israel and belittle the Palestinian plight. And these numbers will show you why.

You see, Gaza has zero tanks, zero air force, zero navy, zero nuclear weapons, and zero chemical or biological weapons. And, not to mention, ZERO OUTSIDE HELP.

Israel, on the other hand, is monstrously well-equipped in all manner of war artillery and alliance.

Also, the Israeli death count pales in comparison to the Palestinian death count which is unfathomably high. And before you start flinging me with the “its not fair that people are mad at us for not dieing” self-pity bunkum (which has happened), let me tell you why its important to bring up the death count disparity.

Gaza is pretty much a glorified prison camp. Its 1.7 million people cramped into 360 squared kilometers with no way of getting out. So when Israel attacks Gaza so brutally it needs to be recognized because its kind of like sending the US Marines, the 82nd Airborne and the 5th Fleet against some unidentified prison yard bullies. And you cannot legitimize that level of disproportional power and damage just because some bully in the prison camp decided to shout out a few curse words at Israel, the initial imprisoner.

And, hell, those prison yard bullies probably have every right to act out that way. The ILLEGAL Jewish settlers and Israeli forces who live on legally designated Palestinian land terrorize and harm the Palestinian communities who have an actual right to be there on a daily basis. The settlers and occupiers throw garbage at the Palestinians, burn their crops, chase them with guns, and brazenly toss them out of their homes WHICH THE SETTLERS ARE ILLEGALLY OCCUPYING.

That’s like watching The Hulk kicking the crap out of a defenseless critter for decades, and then expect the world to be cool with it when he finally squashes it in the palm of his hand.

So, I’m sorry, but I completely refuse your “both sides are equally at fault” argument. And I couldn’t give a flying dingbat about whether or not you think Israel was really threatened by Hamas. Because I will never take part in perpetuating any false notions that belittle and deny the historical and the present fact that Israel has committed and continues to commit thousands of humanitarian atrocities against the disproportionately weaker Palestinians. And I will not, under any circumstances, let Israel off the hook for committing these purely evil war crimes based on a verbal, impractical, and misleading technicality.

All my love!

Posted in Everywhere Else, Musings, News, SAY WHAAA...! and tagged , , , , , , , ,
14 Nov 2012

Nonsense ‘Female’ Marketing 101 (or How To Ruin It For Pink Lovers)

Ladies, answer me this: Can you drive a car? Can you use a laptop? Can you a handle a pen?

Wait, I’m sorry–what in the world was I thinking. Of course you can’t, you silly goose! Don’t you know that you’ve got the bone marrow of a freaking infant and that your brain simply cannot function under the overwhelming pressure of dealing with regular-colored stuff? Black, red, blue… you know, man colors. Yekh! I mean, I could personally die of shame at the thought of it.

But never fear lady-friends, because the business world is here for you. That’s right, capitalism has anticipated your dire need and deep, physiological dependence on the fact you simply cannot live without the color pink in your life. The business world understands your unique, girly limits and is going so far as to create and fully customize everyday (and otherwise manly) things just for you and your delicate, girl needs.

How so very thoughtful of you, world. Really–thank you.

So if any of you reading this are thinking of going into the noble line of female marketing work, here is but a very quick overview of a few promising products in today’s “woman-friendly” markets which include cars, electronics and, shockingly, chocolate:

The Honda ‘She’s’ – That’s right, ladies. Honda has listened to our frail estrogen cries and has finally made us our very own automobile. And, thank heavens, it comes in pink! The official color of cotton candy, Barbie, and breast cancer! Hurrah! And since Honda knows that our basic mental deduction skills are incapable of grasping knowledge of things like engines, wheels, and oil (Yekh! More dude stuff!), it has thankfully devoted almost its entire PR campaign telling us about such wonderful features as ‘pink-plated air conditioning display!’ Which is really all that should matter to us in the first place because none of us know how to drive anyway.

Fujitsu’s ‘Floral Kiss’ Laptop – THANK YOU GOD! I can finally get rid of my Hello Kitty diary because my prayers have finally been answered with a laptop that has a built-in diary, scrapbook, and daily horoscopes! Y’know, for all my essential lady activities. And, much like our dear female advocates at Honda, Fujitsu doesn’t want to trouble women with man-knowledge about specs and tech-y gibberish. That’s why they devote exactly 19 words in their press release to the actual specs and a whopping 301 words to things like the available girl colors (Feminine Pink, Elegant White, and Luxury Brown) and fingernail-friendly, bedazzled latches and keyboards. Ooh and the carry case comes with its own make-up pouch, too? I am 100% sold.


Cadbury’s Crispello Chocolate - So, sure, women live and breathe chocolate. Which would be totally cool if it weren’t for this truth-bomb I’m about to drop on all of you. Ready, ladies? Okay, here goes. When you scarf down every morsel of chocolate that crosses your cocoa-crazed path, it makes you fat. BOOM! Any survivors out there? But, wait, don’t fret just yet! As all you ladies know, our life’s most important goal and achievement is looking like a Sports Illustrated cover girl (above our families, careers, and friends) and, thankfully, Cadbury is here to help us out! Meet Crispello: the first ever directly female focused, 165 calorie chocolate delight! “A little treat for you” designed to stave your estrogen choco-mania without the fear of piling on the dreaded pounds. Because, clearly, weight gain is a female issue, which only females who are females suffer from, and so requires a specific female solution.

Call me crazy, but I think we may have just won the war on women here.

Aye. But, seriously? (wait, you weren’t being serious before?!)

I’m one of those women that actually enjoys most girly things. I’m a HUGE fan of the color pink–my laptop is pink, my iPad cover is pink, and the socks I’m wearing right now? Totally pink. There is no way I would ever try to tell anyone what colors or products they can and can’t like, least of all women. But the very deep issue I have with the literally millions of marketing strategies which target women with nothing other than this pink-washed, baby doll, sexist nonsense is the fact that it speaks for all women, most of which are actually NOT rabid pink lovers with flowery wallpapers. This is a huge problem because the more women are okay with being treated and marketed like a sub-class of society who only cares about something’s prettiness (including our own bodies) then that’s how society is going to continue to treat and consider women in their actual, daily lives.

And I don’t know about any of you, but as much as I like to own pretty (and sometimes pink) things, I also like to be taken seriously a whole lot more.

All my love!

Posted in Feminism, Musings, SAY WHAAA...! and tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment
18 Sep 2012
10 Comments

Open Forum: How Do We Talk About Religion and Politics? (Without Starting WWIII)

Look, Ms. Manners has already forewarned us. The two subjects we are never supposed to so much as graze over in friendly, courteous conversations are religion and politics. Supposedly, these are the A-Bombs of all social conduct. Basically, with these little firecrackers, forget proceed with caution–do not proceed at all ever.

And yet, religion and politics are important things in people’s lives. In fact, to a lot of people, they can be the most important things. People have waged wars and built entire civilizations around religions and politics. One could argue that they still do. And yet we’re not supposed to so much as mention, let alone have a full conversation, about these monumental subjects?

But, you know, I get it. These subjects are touchy because, well, when someone believes in something so much and may even structure their entire life around it, how do you begin having a possibly opposing conversation with them about such an integral part of their identity? They’re bound to get offended, you’re bound to lose your cool, and, basically, the whole planet is bound to combust into one endlessly loud shouting match.

So, obviously, the only way to avoid staging a remake of Apocalypse Now in your living room (or in front of your nearest embassy) is, well… to avoid touching the whole thing altogether. Right?

But if any of you have been paying any attention to the news in the last couple of days, you’ll have undoubtedly heard of the low budget, borderline pornographic, disgustingly offensive American ‘movie’ mocking the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) as well as the insane crap-storm of reactions that Muslims all around the world have been having to this film.

And now, all of a sudden, I feel myself compelled to bring this hairy can of worms into the room (which happens to have an elephant in it). I feel like now, more than ever, is a time when people need to start talking about talking about religion and politics.

Because when my religion (which I truly hold very near and dear to my heart) has been heinously assaulted and ridiculed for reasons that are possibly political and definitely asinine, all I can see is a mass wave of rightful anger being displaced in ways that are, at worst, murderous and, at best, fruitless.

I don’t see a lot of people trying to actually talk this thing out, and attempt to deal with a negative situation proactively.

I’m so baffled by this lack of dialogue we all seem to have with one another, that I’m now desperately trying to put together a how-to post about how we can talk about religion and politics without simultaneously exploding into a million pieces.

But, while I do that, I really wanna hear what you guys think of this. Do you guys think its possible for two opposing sides to have a civil and conducive conversation about religion and politics? Do you think there’s a way that these two opposing sides could ever work together to help zap out the negative, idiotic, offensive pests?

Please share your wisdom, you special snowflake, you!

All my love!

Posted in Everywhere Else, Musings, News, SAY WHAAA...! and tagged , , , , , , , ,
07 Sep 2012
4 Comments

Iranian Women are Apparently Too Awesome For Competitive Academics

So, in a totally surprising and absolutely not forewarned move on the Iranian government’s part, women in Iran are now going to be legally banned from taking 77 BA and BSc university courses. These courses include English literature, English translation, hotel management, archaeology, nuclear physics, computer science, electrical engineering, industrial engineering, and business management. So basically any potentially lucrative major ever.

And what brought on this insanely inhumane nod to primitivism? Why, women’s overachieving brains that’s what!

Yup. In a country where 65% of all college students are women and where the ratio of female to male graduates is the highest in the entire world, these overachieving women are being discriminated against for being so smart.

I’ll pause for a second and give you all a chance to pick your jaws up off the floor.

According to the Science and High Education Minister, Kamran Daneshjoo, this adjustment is necessary in order to restore “balance.”

WHAT?! So the women have to get screwed out of taking advantage of their career opportunities and following their passions because their male counterparts are just not smart enough to compete with them? UGH. This kind of ignorant primitivism is exactly the reason why I’m such an adamant feminist.

I don’t even know how this decision is going to make Iranian women just give up and be all like, “Well, I guess we should all stop fighting for our rights and pursuing our futures and just stay home and give birth to a soccer team!” If anything, this is probably going to make the Iranian women even more stubborn and resilient about living up to their academic potential.

All I can personally see this kind of decision proving is this: Women are awesome. So awesome in fact that horribly insecure men have to try and restrict their awesomeness by legislating insane laws just to try and keep up with them.

Guys, don’t fight the awesomeness. Embrace it. Share the load with the other half of humanity. I mean, honestly, you are all seriously due for a much deserved break.

All my love!

Posted in Everywhere Else, News, SAY WHAAA...! and tagged , , , , , , ,
20 Aug 2012
2 Comments

A Reaction to the Reactions to Saher il-Lail

I’m probably inviting drama onto myself by saying this but, why in the world is everyone treating Saher il-Lail like a big, Iraq VS. Kuwait boxing match?

Look, I’ve watched the entire Saher il-Lail (Watan il-Nahar) series this Ramadan and I’m going to say this right off the bat: it was freaking phenomenal. Really, it was a work of great production value, promising writing, and included some very talented members among its cast. Sure, it had some technical slips (Oh my God! A PLASMA!), but, nitpicking aside, it was still a very worthy and admirable effort which was geared towards creating a real and positive change in the minds of its viewers.

And, from what I could figure, the change that Saher il-Lail was trying to accomplish was this: a sense of unity, pride, and respect for all those who have suffered the various forms of trauma and pain which the unjust and brutal Iraqi invasion of Kuwait had created in a countless number of souls who’s stories deserve to be reflected.

Saher il-Lail was not set out to demonize a whole nation or to make it okay for racists and bigots to start cropping up from under the ground. Anyone who uses Saher il-Lail as an excuse to fling insults and racist remarks against Iraqis or Kuwaitis or ANY nationality insults the noble effort behind which this television show was created. It’s not nationalism or pride, its freaking racism. And if you say its not, then you’ll be happy to know that you’ve just revealed your cards.

That said, I’m not belittling any of the war crimes which occurred upon the hands of the Iraqi military or the brutality that was used during the invasion. The reality is that, to whatever extent anyone would like to admit, the events that were portrayed in Saher il-Lail were inspired by similarly traumatizing experiences which real people went through during that horrible time. I’m not a historian nor was I really there at the time of the invasion (I was in Kuwait but I was one), but I know that not only is it useless to try and deny that certain atrocities really were committed, but that its also quite insulting to the history of Kuwait to do so.

Kuwaitis and non-Kuwaitis alike suffered greatly due to the ramifications of the unjust, aggressive, and, at times, murderous Iraqi invasion. This is simply a fact of history and there is no debating it.

But, let’s all get this straight: Saher il-Lail is not a documentary. Its a television show. A television show that had a lot of integrity, national respect, and honest work behind it. But still a television show.

That means that we need to take into consideration the fact that, like any network television show, stylistic drama is always involved. There needs to be a hook for audiences to attach themselves to so that they remain invested in the show for the entire month. In that respect, Saher il-Lail, like every other historic TV show to ever appear on television, is also concerned with purposefully creating empathy for certain characters and disdain for others. Every single television show under the sun is built with the same concept in mind. There’s nothing wrong with that. In fact, its the right way to make a successful and great TV show which is actually worth watching.

You’d think that this aspect of Saher il-Lail (that its not a documentary) would allow people to just enjoy it for what it is: a good television show that re-ignited a sense of unity and respect for national history.

Yet, for some insane reason, a whole lot of people are taking it as if it were a direct assault on all the Iraqi people or treating it like a piece of historical evidence. Serious news channels are having shouting debates about it; sending people out in the field to get counter-reactions from Iraqi people; and just basically taking everything that is beautiful out of it.

And now, all of a sudden, its just a big Iraq VS. Kuwait title match! I’ve seen nasty Youtube response videos, read hateful tweets, and just a whirlwind of racist backlash from BOTH sides and I can’t, for the life of me, figure out why.

It’s a television show. For some people it brings back bitter memories. For others its interesting and new. And for a whole other group, its just not their cup of tea. It’s not a groundbreaking, historical documentation which can be used as some kind of legitimate argument ammo about current or past politics. You can’t cite Saher il-Lail in a freaking history essay thesis.

Its simply a television show written from the creative perspective of a Kuwaiti family during a time of war which was, undeniably, difficult and traumatizing.

If you like it, keep watching and enjoy it. If you don’t, just turn the freaking channel.

All my love! (P.S. Eid Mubarak everyone!)

Posted in Beautiful, Kuwait, Musings, SAY WHAAA...!, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , ,
14 Aug 2012
8 Comments

In Which I Am, For The Fourth Time, Not Lisa Conrad

Okay. Considering that I’ve now officially received three emails asking me the same question, I’m going to publicly make the biggest personal announcement that I’ve ever made on this blog:

I am NOT Lisa Conrad.

Two months ago I got an email from a reader asking me if I was, I found it funny and endearing so I promptly replied to them and let them know that I am definitely not Lisa Conrad.

If you follow me on Twitter you might have seen me and Lisa make a few jokes about this.

Then about three weeks later I got another email asking the same question. Again: laughed it off, made a joke, and informed them that I wasn’t Lisa (and that they weren’t the first to make this assumption).

A few hours ago, my inbox did its little blinking trick on my phone and, lo and behold, looking up at me was the age-old question yet again:

“Are you Lisa Conrad?”

And considering the fact that I once read a statistic which revealed that for every comment or question that someone asks there are at least 50 other people who are thinking the same thing, I’m guessing that’s its probably best to make a quick post about this.

So, just for the record: I’m not Lisa Conrad. I know that Lisa and I share some writing habits and our tone sounds a little similar but that’s all it is: a similarity. A great similarity and one that I am deeply flattered by, but that’s it. Really though, being a Lisa Conrad fan-girl myself, I am nothing if not totally awestruck by this association.

I had the good fortune of meeting and chatting with Lisa at Zain’s social media day event and, honestly, the woman is an absolute delight (like a perfect London scone). Seriously, meeting Lisa Conrad made me wish I was Lisa Conrad.

But, unfortunately, I’m not. Really. I wish I was. But I’m not.

So far, you’re all just stuck with little ol’ me: Owl “Not Lisa Conrad” Olive.

All my love!

Posted in Musings, SAY WHAAA...! and tagged , , , , ,

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