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This One’s For All The Dudes (From Your Friendly Neighborhood Feminist)

So I’m a feminist. And proudly so. I am a complete advocate for women’s rights and I have no issue standing against any part of any society that tries to diminish a woman’s right to be equal to her male counterpart in every single way.

Now, whenever someone finds this out about me they immediately assume that I am a man-hating, bra-burning, glass ceiling shattering psycho. They think that I hate men and everything they stand for. They think that all I want to do, as a woman, is overpower men and make them look stupid.

Of course, this is all a bunch of boo-hockey. Anyone who understands the basic principles of feminism knows this. Because feminism, in its purest form, isn’t about overpowering men or making them obsolete or anything of the sort. Feminism just asks that women be allowed the right to live their lives equal to men if they want to. That’s it. If a man is allowed to act, think, or operate a certain way and a woman isn’t, then I’ve got issues with that philosophy, whatever it may be.

And, while I know I’ve brought up several subjects that have been a little critical of the patriarchal society which men have essentially established, that does not mean that I hate men.

I love men. And women. And just people in general.

In fact, in order to prove how much I love men (especially the ones who read this blog), I’m going to give you a list of things that would make life absolutely miserable had there been no men around.

1. No more Big Evil Patriarchy for me to pick apart and complain about. – As strongly as feminists feel about the fundamentally and logically flawed nature of many patriarchal ideals–let’s admit it ladies–it can also be a hell of a lot of fun to prove the boys wrong (again and again).
2. All flat tires will remain unchanged. - Oh wait, we must not anger the Feminist Mafia. 75% of tires will remain unchanged.
3. European soccer leagues would be booo-ring. – I mean, why does any woman really start to watch soccer? I’ll give you a hint: it ain’t the fun of watching a ball move from one patch of grass to the next.
4. Who will fill all the jobs that require “masculine strength” and, I don’t know, lots of manly spitting? – Who will put out our fires and fix our cars? For the love of God, who will drive our tanks and drop our bombs?
5. Cats galore! – Because, you know, no babies. So, naturally, all women will turn to the next best thing: cats. So if men ceased to exist it would be CATS EVERYWHERE ALL THE TIME. And, speaking as someone with a severe cat allergy, I am not on board.
6. Some men are kind of awesome (or the only serious reason) – Some of the best people I know are men. For real. I mean, it actually took me a while to think of all the above criteria on this list because, in all seriousness, I think one of the worst things anyone can do to someone else is to stereotype them based on a group rather than look at them individually. I’m well aware of the fact that there are specific aspects to both being a man and a woman–testosterone and estrogen is some strong stuff, you guys–but I still think there’s no possible way that a whole half of humanity is just going to fit into a single mold. Some men can be the biggest pains in the neck. Some men are a total hoot to be around. Some men are more responsible than others. Some men are sensitive. Some men are bulging with testosterone. Some men are less so. And, most importantly, some men can’t change a tire.
   

So, if any of my readers have misconstrued anything I have ever said on this blog as my war-cry against the entire male species, then let me set the record straight. Do I want to remove all the harmful, useless, offensive, power-hungry aspects that make up a great deal of most patriarchal structures? Absolutely.

But does that mean that I want to completely annihilate an entire 50% of the world’s population just because of some stupid stereotypes that have never really applied to my life all that much anyway? OF COURSE NOT.

Regardless of any wonky society and ideology, I will always love men. You know why? Because I will always love people.

All my love! (from your friendly neighborhood feminist)